Synopsis: I share the story of chess grandmaster Josh Waitzkin, who actually got worse at chess when he abandoned his natural aggressive style to follow expert advice. As I work to rebuild our clinic, Josh's story reminds me that authenticity often serves us better than trying to be perfect - a lesson that applies whether you're playing chess, rebuilding after a crisis, or reconnecting with your true self through ketamine therapy.
When Better Is Worse
On our journeys of healing, self-acceptance, and self-love, sometimes we can struggle with trying to be something we are not. Striving to fit in or appear like we have it all together, we look to external markers - usually people with more money, better looks, or who seem to have it all. In doing so, we can question who we are and how we go about doing things.
So we contort ourselves, listening to the 'expertise' of others and perhaps matching or even surpassing those around us. But then we get to a point in our lives where we discover we have a life that isn't aligned with who we truly are.
It fits like a shoe a little too tight, but then someone says, "Oh, it looks so good on you!"
We begin to doubt our own instincts, favoring what others recommend. Perhaps you can relate to this?
In this blog post, I'm going to share a story about a chess player who also began to listen to others and discovered following expert advice actually made him worse at what he did best.
Sometimes the expert advice that's supposed to make us better actually makes us worse. Chess grandmaster Josh Waitzkin learned this lesson when changing his natural aggressive style led to poorer performance - a reminder that our authentic approach often serves us best.
When Better Advice Made Things Worse
Today's story is brought to you by...my love of chess! There's a very famous chess player named Josh Waitzkin. Not only is he a world-renowned chess player, he is also an author. He has a great book called The Art of Learning: An Inner Journey to Optimal Performance.
In that book, he talks about when he was a kid playing chess. (If you didn't know, the book and movie Searching for Bobby Fischer is about him!) As a kid chess prodigy, he had an aggressive style of playing which translated to many wins. Other players weren't playing like this, and his continual winning eventually led him to becoming a grandmaster.
But he wanted to continue to grow and get better, so he started taking chess lessons from players that were better than him. His teachers began to teach him to play less aggressively and more defensively. Instead of playing aggressive gambits and coming up with plays not seen before, he was taught to play more strategically. In a nutshell, they were encouraging him to change his style.
What happened? He actually got worse, and I believe that was because he wasn't playing in his own way. Eventually, he would return to playing in a way that was aligned with his intentions, instincts, and motivations.
Why do I share this story?
As of the writing of this post, our clinic is still closed due to the May 17 car bomb explosion. In my efforts to rebuild and reopen, I've been doing a lot of email communication and telephone calls.
Like Josh, I want to improve and grow - looking to individuals who are far better communicators and negotiators than I am. After speaking with experts or reading their books, I'll send an email or write a letter, and then moments after I send it, I'll second-guess myself. I'm thinking, "Oh, I should have done it this way, or that expert negotiator would've done it another way."
But then I find strength in this story about Josh. Seeing how a famous and gifted individual can struggle as well grounds and fortifies me. His experience helps me appreciate my own unique style. I have my own way of doing things, and when I go against that, it just doesn't feel right.
Authenticity isn't always easy, but it's essential for genuine happiness and healing. Whether in chess, business, or personal growth, staying true to who we are allows us to shine brightest and perform at our best.
Let Your Light Shine
We all have our own natural style, and some people are not going to like that. I'm here to remind you that that's okay. But to live a happy and free life, I am discovering that we must be true to ourselves. Oftentimes, this requires us to be brave and courageous. For when we are our true selves, there will always be folks that don't like it.
As I am growing, I am learning that I would rather have someone not like me for who I truly am instead of being admired for a false front I put on.
Since you're reading this blog, you might be wondering, "How does this relate to ketamine therapy?"
Over the course of ketamine treatments, whether that is during the infusion itself or in between during integration, some patients experience a reconnection with their true authentic selves. Sometimes they get a shift of perspective and see that they've been putting on a show for everyone at the expense of their own physical and mental health.
It's easy to become disconnected from who we truly are. The stresses of modern life and cultural societal programming can lead us to forget. We seek out expertise and advice from authority figures and even influencers, losing track of our own voice, values, and motivations.
Whether it is Josh returning to his original style of chess playing, or you potentially rediscovering your true self during your healing ketamine therapy journey - by connecting to ourselves, really knowing who we are, we can let our light shine.
If you enjoyed this blog post, check these out too:
What Chess Taught Me About Life, Legacy, and Ketamine Therapy
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A Story To Help You Face Criticism
A story about a man, his son, and their donkey to illustrate a way to address facing criticism. Perhaps you've heard this story before?
Dr. Ko shares a personal story about chess grandmaster Josh Waitzkin, who got worse at chess when he abandoned his natural aggressive style for expert advice. Drawing parallels to his own experience rebuilding after a clinic explosion, Dr. Ko explores how authenticity often serves us better than trying to be perfect, and how ketamine therapy can help patients reconnect with their true selves.
